Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
