i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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