I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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