Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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