I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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