just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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