Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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