Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
