btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
