there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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