So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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