i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
