I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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