): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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