That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize