I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
