I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
