my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
