She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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