Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
