I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
