it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
