Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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