Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
