I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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