I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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