i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
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