it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
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This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
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Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
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