Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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