Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
