My girlfriend figured out who you are.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
