Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
She said her name was "party"
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
