Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Randomize
