The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
My ass is underappreciated
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
