I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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