hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
so let's talk penis.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
