I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
