either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
