Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
