All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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