Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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