She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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