my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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