How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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