Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
