We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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