you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Houston, we have a squirter
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
