Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
