Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
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