Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
