You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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