We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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