What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
