I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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