why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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