i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
