Say something about gay babies.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
