how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
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At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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