Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
