Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
