i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
