On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
