she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize