In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
