I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
