we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
