Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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