her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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