I swear she didn't look like that last week.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize