This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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