We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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